Heathens of the Plains

A travel blog about real places I don't go and in which I make up imaginary stuff about said places, that may or may not exist. Also, there might be stuff about food.

Castles of Leipzig, Germany

It is hard to be a travel blogger if you aren’t actually traveling anywhere. Though the reason I’ve been in Leipzig for months is pretty simple — I’ve met someone.

I know what you are thinking. “But dude, that’s a stray cat.” That’s right. It is. His name is Rian and we’ve become super mega best friends forever. We’ve been exploring castles in and around Leipzig. That takes time. I mean, this is one of the touristy ones, but there are tons more with scary dungeons and underground weirdness.

Here’s some weird shit we found deep within one castle nestled in the armpit of a mountain:

What the hell is that thing? I don’t know! Me and Rian fought it gallantly, but in the end we ended up having to find a +5 sword of worm smashing to defeat it. This was the treasure it was guarding:

It was better than when we had to defeat that monkey dragon to only find that he was guarding a box of oily rags and a plastic banana hat.

Leipzig, Germany

Kept on going north through Germany. This is the old town hall in Leipzig. I’m not sure if they still use it for anything, but a bunch of people were milling around taking pictures.

This is a pretty big town really, I mean compared to most of what is around the countryside. Europe is much different than the states. Not as many scary redneck pit-stop towns.

Those are tigers. They have an indoor zoo here. It’s pretty wicked. It’s nice to be able to visit a zoo and imagine the animals rising up in revolt and not being able to open doors. I watched tigers doing tiger things for a while, hoping some fat American tourist (not me) would fall in the tiger pit. They never did. They just ate sausage and loudly yelled at the animals.

That’s the Drogerie, a pretty snazzy restaurant in Leipzig. It’s a small, intimate place. A lot of couples and families laughing and drinking wine. Boy, did I look like a chump eating all by myself. Such is life. Food was good though.

Rochlitz, Germany

I took the 107 north out of Chemnitz. Rochlitz is like a large village. I love towns like this. I mean, how can you not? I can’t believe that this country spent most of the 20th century at war.

Then of course, there is a castle. Because what would a German town be without a castle? Probably a Canadian town. Are there castles in Canada? Probably a few. This one isn’t.

This castle is real touristy though, I want to find one that isn’t. I mean, not one that is fake haunted, but one that hasn’t been cleaned in six hundred years or something.

Chemnitz, Germany

The city of modernity. Apparently over the last couple decades Chemnitz has gone through a very modern update. Though, the connections to the past are still present. First, the present:

The city used to be named for Karl Marx. I’m pretty sure I’ve read the cliff notes of something he wrote. They have this giant statue of his face:

There is some classic architecture here still, some castles and Synagogues that are pretty outstanding. Whereas I had a picture of them somewhere, these pretzels look more appetizing at the moment:

Germany has a messed up path. As a Jew, I’m pretty sure traveling through the country will bring up something that would be considered with emotions. Or I can just head back to Prague. That place was awesome. Or I could hop a plane and go anywhere. Whatever, I’ll stick it out. Maybe I’ll learn something. Doubtful. Pretzels!

Prague, Czech Republic

Don’t ask about the lack of updates. I’ve been here in Prague for a couple weeks avoiding the world at large. The Olympics passed, whatever is going on in Russia, just too much. Look at this place!

Between the amazing architecture, the food and the culture, I’m thinking about spending some more time. I mean, I really liked Switzerland, but this place is something else. Plus, buildings like this:

Every day I walk around Wenceslas Square and just load up on great food. Sausage vendors, fresh fruits, meats… everything. This is breakfast:

I suppose I should get back on the road. I want to be in Brazil by the summer for the World Cup, which I wish was in Europe so I didn’t have to leave this early. Whatever. Such is life.

Jihlava, Czech Republic

I thought about heading up to Sochi to catch some of the Olympics, but realized that I really don’t care. Plus, if you think sleeping in a car and random hotels in Eastern Europe is bad, apparently the conditions there are much, much worse. So I’m in Jihlava today.

The town is right on the Jihlava river and has some serious war history I probably don’t want to get into. In the main square of the town there is a place called Tři Knížata. Pretty nice place, one of the nicest I’ve been to in a while.

Tomorrow I think I’ll eat here again, then hit the road. Not sure if I’m heading to Germany, or North. Or South. Or back East. Hell, I’ll go where the wheels pull me.

Poysdorf, Austria

There is a lot of green grass in Austria. I mean, like you see in those movies in technicolor and you are sure that the colors are artificially brightened. Nope. Looks like this:

Can’t say there is too much to do here in Poysdorf. There is a golf course, but I don’t golf. Everyone rides bikes. I’m riding a bike right now. There is one really nice bed & breakfast, the Genießerhof Haimer.

Pretty sure that was the place. I’m biking out of town now and don’t have time to read photo descriptions that I didn’t record anyway. I ran into some American tourists, so I wanted to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. Sorry Poysdorf. I didn’t travel all around the world to chum it up with Americans.

Vienna, Austria

Christmas in Vienna. New Years in Vienna. Pretty much the last month or so in Vienna. I’d like to explain the lack of blog updates, but I think a picture is worth a 1000 words or something like that.

THEN shit got weird. I wasn’t wearing a mask so I got kicked out. New Years Eve and pretty much the next week looked like this:

There is a lot of cool architecture here, and walking the streets is pretty awesome. You can’t say that about a lot of places. I kind of got lost for a while, mentally and physically cause I couldn’t read the street signs.

Not sure how long I’m going to stay here, I just know that I really miss pastrami sandwiches. Not exactly a European favorite. Perhaps I’ll head back to the states soon, but it’s not like I’ve got a fucking game plan or something. I did find a place to watch the AFC & NFC Championship games though. Speaking about that, I plan on being in Brazil for the World Cup this summer, so see you there?

Pécs, Hungary

So I took the M60 east (I think it was east, frankly, I’m not sure, it’s cloudy a lot over here) and ended up in Pécs, Hungary. This is another place with giant Disneyworld style churches.

That’s the Roman Catholic Diocese of Pécs. This is a pretty peaceful place. Hungarians, Croatians and Swabians all hand in hand and shit. Pretty close to the Croatian border. Also, Pörkölt stew!

There is also a local version of Halva that is pretty good. I’m not a huge fan of seed based treats, but it’s not bad when not sitting on a deli counter for 30 months.

Szeged, Hungary

I can say this much about this part of the world, the highway landscaping doesn’t seem to be as big a part of the budget as it is in the states. That’s fine by me really. As long as the roads work.

There is some pretty awesome shit in Szeged. There is a university, badass Roman architecture and this place:

That’s the Votive church and a pretty damn impressive building. I could stare at it for hours, and I pretty much did.

Ok, so I moved a couple feet cause there was a street vendor and I was super hungry. Get it? Sigh.